


Working the System

by Kioee



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Idiots in Love, M/M, Manipulation, Unhealthy Relationships, they are stupid stupid men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 02:43:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20382373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kioee/pseuds/Kioee
Summary: Of course Mac is in love with Dennis. Dennis just needed a little convincing to admit he feels the same way. If he goes a little crazy because of it, it's all par for the course. Mac knows what he's doing.





	Working the System

“Dennis! Dennis, Dennis, Dennis,” Mac yelled, walking into the bar. “I’ve got your food.”

“What would I do without you?” Dennis asked with a smile as Mac held out the sandwich he’d forgotten at the apartment.

Mac snorted. “Starve to death, I guess.”

Dennis rolled his eyes and grabbed the sandwich, wrapped with care and with his name written on it. He scoffed as he unwrapped it. “Why’d you write my name on it?” he asked as he took a bite. “It’s not like anyone else was going to eat it.”

“I thought it was nice,” Mac answered, when really it had a lot more to do with the fact that he didn’t really think it through.

Dennis took a bite. “It was nice.”

They turned their attention to a scoff. Dee rolled her eyes at the two of them. “You two are disgusting.”

“Is it?” Dennis said. “Is it disgusting, Dee, for a man to bring his best friend a sandwich so that he may have sustenance for his workday?”

“Yeah, Dee,” Mac joined. “Just because you don’t have any friends to do nice things for you, doesn’t mean you need to be such a goddamn bitch about it.”

Dee put her hands on her hips, the scowl on her face meant to be intimidating but Mac and Dennis were completely unaffected by it. “It’s disgusting that you two have always acted like some old married couple and I don’t want to see your weird romantic bullshit every time you two are in the same room.”

“Romantic?” Dennis repeated, voice getting a little higher. “There is nothing romantic about the way we act.”

Mac tilted his head, raising his eyebrows as if to contradict Dennis’s statement. He then, contradicted Dennis’s statement. “I mean, it does look kind of romantic.”

Waving his hand at Mac, Dennis continued on. “We all know Mac’s in love with me but accepting his kindness and generosity doesn’t mean anything. That’s how I would act if any of you assholes ever did a nice thing for me at any point in your life.” Dennis pointed across the bar to where Charlie and Frank were trying to get reception on the new TV. “Charlie, I’d treat you the same way, right?”

Charlie shook his head. “I’m not gonna say you’ve never appreciated my friendship, but you and Mac are… well….” His voice trailed off, not able to find the right word.

Thankfully, Frank was there to finish the thought. “You two act real gay to each other.”

“Well, I am gay, Frank,” Mac countered. “Everything I do is the act of a gay man.”

“I have never in my life acted gay to Mac,” Dennis complained. Mac pulled a face again.

“Bullshit,” Dee, Frank, and Charlie called out at once. Their voices piled on top of each other citing examples of the way Dennis sometimes looks at Mac, their shared bank account, that they’ve lived together for decades, made bold declarations in crowded restaurants, and all the other little things that most people don’t do if their relationship is completely platonic.

Dennis waved his hands around. “Okay, okay, stop it! Cease! All of you!” He took a deep breath and a bite of his sandwich. “Now let me eat this sandwich, completely platonically, and never doubt the things I say to you about my own emotions and experiences.” He said this despite having lied about these things before, but everyone else chose to let it slide. Dee didn’t really care whether her brother wanted to bang Mac, just as long as she didn’t have to bear witness to it. Frank and Charlie had already moved back to what they had been working on before. Mac just didn’t want to push it. He didn’t want to ruin this… whatever they had going.

So, the scene in the bar had been forgotten, and no one mentioned anything when Mac would make sure Dennis had lunch, though it was easily assumed he was making sure Dennis was eating three square meals a day. Dennis didn’t mind. The food was actually healthy and well balanced with his activity level. Mac was great at making sure Dennis stuck to a routine where he wouldn’t be taking in more calories than he was burning off. Mac even made sure to account for the alcohol consumption. It was nice not having to do all that work himself. Especially when Dennis’s solution was generally just to cut out meals altogether.

Mac always did such nice things for Dennis, sometimes surprising him with the things he’d picked up in case it might be helpful. They had been driving back to their apartment after a closing shift when a loud popping noise cut through the music, one side of the Range Rover dropping.

“Goddammit!” Dennis screamed, hitting the steering wheel. “We’ve got a goddamn flat tire.”

“Relax, dude,” Mac said, which was only acknowledged by Dennis looking at him, his entire body the opposite of relaxed.

“Relax?” he screeched. “How am I supposed to relax when now we have to call some towing service or something to come bail us out?”

Mac raised an eyebrow. “Dude, we’ve got a spare and all the tools in the back. I can change a tire.”

Dennis scoffed. “Since when can you change a tire?”

Mac shrugged. “I saw some poor asshole stranded on the side of the road a few weeks ago and realized I didn’t want to end up like that, so I looked it up.”

“I don’t think just Googling that shit counts as you knowing how to change a tire.” Dennis crossed his arms. 

“No, dude,” Mac continued, trying to persuade Dennis of his newfound talent. “I mean, yeah, I did watch a couple YouTube videos – which are pretty helpful by the way – but I also asked the guy at the auto parts store where I picked up the spare and the jack and shit.” Mac beamed at Dennis. “They had a practice car and everything and usually they charge for that sort of instruction, but I laid my natural charm of the guy and he showed me for free.”

Dennis huffed. “So, you whored yourself out just to learn how to change a tire?”

“It’s not like that Dennis,” Mac whined. “I didn’t sleep with anyone, or even kiss or touch. Just flirted a little.” He frowned. “Not like you haven’t pulled similar shit.”

Dennis put up his hands. “Okay this isn’t about that.” He nodded his head at the door. “You know how to fix it, then do it.”

Mac grinned. “You’re going to be so impressed, dude.”

Dennis hated to admit that Mac was competent when it came to changing a tire. He would never admit it, of course, but the appreciation was there, nonetheless. Dennis wasn’t sure at all what he would do without Mac. He’d barely held it together when he was gone, but he’d at least had Mandy as a guide for how to act and having to make sure a toddler didn’t die was an incredibly grounding experience. Still, there was nothing quite like the comfort of knowing that Mac would be there for him, whatever he needed.

Of course, sometimes Mac wasn’t there, physically speaking. It was the first time in a couple weeks that Mac was out of the apartment while Dennis was left alone. On the one hand, Dennis was annoyed that Mac had left without even saying where he was going or when he was coming back. That was just unlike him. On the other hand, that did give Dennis some free time. He hadn’t gotten laid in a while and didn’t feel like going out and putting in the effort of seduction. He’d just have to take care of himself.

The big mistake Dennis made, was not knowing when Mac would come back home. So, it happened that when Mac sauntered into the apartment, he stopped dead at the sight on the couch, greeting on his tongue swallowed in a quiet gasp. He’d seen Dennis’s dick before, plenty of times, and not just in the way that roommates would incidentally see each other naked. However, Dennis had been a lot more careful about being caught with his dick out around Mac since he came out. This was a rare opportunity.

Dennis was panting hard with each stroke and Mac stood, transfixed on the image, not daring to make a sound. Dennis, however, was making a lot of sounds. “Want that mouth on me,” he whispered. Mac licked his lips thinking, not for the first time, about sucking Dennis off. With another long stroke, Dennis moaned loudly, ending in a name. “Mac,” he gasped.

Mac grinned broadly and stepped over to Dennis, swiftly bending over close to Dennis’s ear. “You know, if you wanted to fuck me, all you had to do is ask.”

At the interruption, Dennis bolted up, Mac standing slowly after. “Shit,” he said as he tucked himself into his pants and scrambled off the couch. “How long were you standing there?” Dennis looked like he was daring Mac to lie. Mac had no intention of pretending this didn’t happen.

Mac folded his arms and looked smugly back at Dennis. “Long enough to hear you moaning about how you want me to suck your dick.” Dennis could deny it, sure, but it would be a stupid lie. Mac stared at him with a smirk on his face, curious to hear what Dennis had to say.

Rolling his eyes, Dennis huffed. “Fine, yeah. I was jerking it to you.”

Mac cocked his head. “You could do more than that if you wanted,” he offered. “I’m here now.”

Dennis looked Mac over, considering the proposition. Mac had never seemed to have a concrete plan on seducing Dennis. He’d always just touched him or tried to kiss him, getting turned down every time. He had accepted all of the rejection and that Dennis just wasn’t into him. Now, things were different. People didn’t jerk off to people they weren’t into. Mac had tried.

“Okay,” Dennis said. “Let’s do it. I got interrupted before I could finish.”

The shock of the affirmation made Mac waver a little bit. This seemed too easy. Dennis could be fucking with him and getting his hopes up just to watch him crash. It was possible he’d only moaned Mac’s name because he knew he was there and wanted to set up this prank. Of course, if he backed down now and this wasn’t some cruel joke, Mac might miss his chance.

“Dennis, if we do this, there’s no going back,” Mac warned. “I’ll never be able to move on.”

Dennis just smirked. “As if you were going to move on from me anyway.” Mac wanted to protest that remark, deny it, tell Dennis he’d been doing real good at moving on from him and finding himself. And that was all true. But Mac knew with just a few words, a smile, he was right back at Dennis’s side. Maybe it was pathetic, but it’s what it was. The only thing Mac could do was give Dennis an out. An out he didn’t seem to be taking as he stepped closer, wrapping an arm around Mac’s waist, pressing a hand on the small of his back, and bringing their bodies together. The other hand cupped Mac’s cheek and Dennis was no longer smirking, but smiling. A real and genuine smile.

“I love you,” Mac blurted out, and Dennis laughed.

“You’ve been pretty obvious about it for years, you know,” Dennis said once his laughter died down. Mac did know. Dennis pressed their foreheads together. Mac realized they were both swaying, keeping in time to the music playing in the background. It felt nice. It also felt weird that Dennis was being so nice to him. Mac waited for the other shoe to drop.

Dennis huffed and Mac waited for him to pull away. He didn’t. “Are you going to kiss me or what?” he snapped. 

Mac smiled. “Yeah, yeah I am.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to Dennis’s. His lips were so soft and tasted lightly of Chapstick. Mac felt Dennis smile against his mouth before kissing back. Dennis’s tongue run along his bottom lip and Mac responded by opening his mouth to let him in. Their tongues slid against each other searching each other but neither one of them trying to overpower the other. A shiver ran up Mac’s spine. This was everything he’d ever wanted.

He pressed his thigh against Dennis, parting his legs and rolling his hips against him, eliciting a moan from his best friend. Mac finally had the presence of mind to move his hands, and they slid down Dennis’s sides before settling on his hips. It all felt so surreal, being allowed to touch Dennis, and being touched back. His heart raced. This had to be a dream. There was no way this was real.

Dennis broke away, and Mac knew this was it. Dennis was going to push him away and laugh in his face for even thinking this was going to happen. He braced himself for the verbal onslaught. “Mac,” Dennis said, sounding annoyed. “Can you relax a little? We can’t fool around if you’re so wrapped up in your own head that you can’t actually enjoy it.” Dennis placed both hands on Mac’s cheeks. “You’re okay, buddy, just stay with me here.”

Mac took a deep breath. Dennis always knew how to calm him down. Just being near him, hearing his voice, was enough to get him grounded again. “I want to fuck you, Dennis.”

“Yeah, you do,” Dennis laughed, closing the distance between them again. “You want it real bad, don’t you baby?”

Mac grabbed Dennis by the back of his neck and pulled him back into a kiss, this time more demanding. “I do. I want you so bad,” he whispered as they broke for a breath. He captured Dennis’s mouth again and moved, pushing him against the wall. The fact that Dennis was letting him take control of the situation was so hot. Mac was now fully hard, and he ground his hips against Dennis, pleased to find he was hard too. 

“You want it too,” Mac said, surprised by how steady his voice was. Dennis replied by spreading his legs and rubbing against Mac’s thigh. Mac lifted his knee to put more pressure against Dennis’s cock. Dennis broke another kiss with a loud moan.

The look in his eyes was dangerous and the sexiest thing Mac had ever seen. Dennis slid his hands down Mac’s sides, light enough to make him shiver. Mac grunted as Dennis grabbed his ass. Dennis chuckled and leaned in with a soft bite on Mac’s earlobe. “We are wearing far too many clothes,” Dennis complained, and Mac couldn’t help but agree.

He nodded vigorously as he stepped back, hands gripping the hem of Dennis’s shirt and lifting it over his head. Mac took in the sight of Dennis’s torso. “You’re so fucking hot,” he said as he began unbuttoning Dennis’s jeans. Dennis gave a sigh of relief as some of the pressure was released from his cock. Mac licked his lips as he took a moment to appreciate the bulge in Dennis’s boxers.

“Get on your knees,” Dennis commanded. Mac did as he was told, a huge grin on his face. His hand rubbed Dennis over the fabric, Dennis gently bucking his hips into each movement. “Not looking for a hand job here, Mac,” Dennis said, the annoyance clear in his voice.

Mac rolled his eyes. “Oh, sorry for wanting to touch your cock, Dennis.” He shook his head. “I’ve been wanting this for a long time, and I’m,” he slipped his hand in they fly of Dennis’s boxers. “Going,” he wrapped his hand around Dennis’s cock. “To take,” he gave a few strokes. “My time.” 

Dennis leaned his head back against the wall, his breathing growing shallow and soft moans letting Mac know he was enjoying himself. “Fine,” Dennis replied, trying to sound annoyed around the small gasps, “take as much time as you want.” Mac chuckled and pulled down Dennis’s boxers and licked his hand before resuming his stroking movements. He rubbed his thumb over the slit, spreading the precum down the shaft. Dennis was hard and every few moments his cock would twitch in Mac’s hand.

A hand threaded through Mac’s hair, lightly tugging. Sure, Dennis had told him he could take his time, but his actions were demanding and impatient. Dennis was practically squirming against the wall. Mac loved that he could do this to him. He was very aware that Dennis was completely naked, and Mac still had all his clothes on. His cock was straining against his jeans and he was feeling more impatient himself. He took a moment to slide off his jeans and pull his shirt over his head. He heard Dennis huff and tap his foot. Dennis wouldn’t beg, but he’d definitely make his annoyance known.

Mac took Dennis in his hand again, and Dennis let out a sigh. Mac slipped his other hand in his own boxers, rubbing himself at the same pace. He then leaned forward and took Dennis’s cock in his mouth as far as he could go without gagging. Dennis let out a loud moan. “Fuck, Mac.” Mac hummed pleasantly around Dennis’s cock, eliciting more moaning.

“Fuck, baby,” Dennis keened as the grip on Mac’s hair tightened. Mac held Dennis’s hips against the wall so he wouldn’t gag on each thrust. Mac looked up at Dennis as he licked up the shaft, hoping to meet his eyes but Dennis had his closed. The look on his face was complete serenity and Mac couldn’t help but moan knowing he was making Dennis feel this good.

With a jerk, Dennis yanked Mac away and stared down at him. He looked like a jungle cat, ready to pounce and Mac’s cock twitched at the thought of being his prey. “Bed,” was all Dennis could get out, and Mac was immediately back on his feet, grabbing Dennis by the hand and pulling him into Dennis’s bedroom. That was where the nice bed was after all. Once inside, Dennis sat at the foot of the bed and pulled Mac close to him. Mac stood in between Dennis’s legs – he had great thighs – as Dennis played with the waistband of his boxers. His cock throbbed as he watched Dennis eye him up and down. He understood the urgency that Dennis had before.

“I need you to touch me,” Mac whispered. Dennis slipped the boxers down, grinned when he saw Mac’s cock, flicking a look up at Mac. He looked so beautiful like this. Mac knew it was blasphemous, but sometimes he really believed Dennis was a god on Earth. He lightly ran his fingers through Dennis’s hair, feeling almost like he could live in this moment forever. Almost. “Come on,” he whined.

With a smirk, Dennis cupped Mac’s balls in one of his hands, massaging them. Mac moaned and leaned into the touch. Dennis guided Mac’s cock to his mouth and slowly, deliberately, sucked on the tip. Mac’s moan grew louder at the sensation. It wasn’t enough, and Mac was acutely aware that Dennis was intentionally teasing him. Mac knew he was whining, but it didn’t matter. Dennis seemed to like it, given that Mac could see him smirking around the head of his cock.

Mac pushed his hips forward, trying to get Dennis to take in more of him, but Dennis moved back keeping the distance. “Mm-mm,” he chastised, still sucking only the tip. The vibration of it still felt so good and Mac groaned.

“Dennis,” he whined again. He’d had so much control in the beginning of this, but he’d quickly become undone by just a few touches. Dennis was a bastard that way. He took in a deep breath to steady himself before speaking again. “Haven’t you ever sucked a dick before?” he mocked. “All you’re doing is just pissing me off.” His fingers gripped Dennis’s hair and pulled him off with a small pop. Bending down, he looked Dennis directly in the eyes. “Don’t fucking tease me, or you’ll regret it.”

The threat hung in the air and Mac was sure Dennis was going to freak out and scream at him. Dennis was always such a control freak. Instead, Dennis just grabbed Mac’s cheeks and pulled him into a rough kiss. Mac moaned into it, eagerly opening his mouth to meet tongues. Dennis grunted and wrapped his hand around Mac’s cock. He broke the kiss, but didn’t pull too far away, hot breath on Mac’s face. “What are you going to do to me, Mac?” The sound of his voice made Mac shudder. It kind of ruined the bravado he was going for.

Mac responded by placing his hands on Dennis’s shoulders and shoving him roughly on the bed. “Whatever I want,” he said. “You wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

Dennis groaned, and Mac felt his hips shift beneath him. “I totally could,” he said, weakly, and Mac couldn’t help but laugh.

“Try it,” he dared and grabbed Dennis by the wrists, wrenching them above his head. Mac sat straddling Dennis, pinning his legs down. Dennis gasped, but after the initial shock, tried to struggle out of Mac’s grip. Mac just pressed down even harder, grinding his hips against Dennis. Dennis, for his part, moaned again. 

“That’s not fair,” he complained, and tried to kick his legs out from under Mac, realizing he didn’t quite have the arm strength or the leverage to work that angle. All that managed to do was increase the friction between them. Mac shifted his hands so that only one was holding onto Dennis’s wrists. His other hand moved to hook under Dennis’s thigh, and he shifted his own legs to rest Dennis’s ankle over his shoulder. Dennis was barely struggling anymore, but flexing his fingers like he was trying to reach for Mac. The moment Mac released his grip, those hands flew to his back, running nails down him. Mac hissed as those unnaturally sharp nails tore up his skin. It hurt like hell, but it definitely felt better than getting scratched on the face. And if he was being honest with himself, he liked getting rough like this in bed. He’d just have to see if Dennis could take what he dished out. His jaw set, he glared down at Dennis before plunging down at him biting him hard on the neck.

“Fuck!” Dennis called out, his shout melting into a moan, sounding equal parts pissed off and turned on. Mac kissed the spot lightly, adding smaller bites around the area. Dennis stopped scratching him and instead grasped at his back like he was fighting to keep him as close as possible.

Mac nuzzled into Dennis’s neck. “You’re fucking perfect, Dennis.”

“You’re goddamn right I am.” One of Dennis’s hands tangled in Mac’s hair as the other gripped Mac’s hip, moving them together. Dennis let out a low moan. “I think you should get to fucking me,” he said. “I didn’t start this just to cuddle.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Mac agreed, not quite able to keep a solid conversation. “You got lube in your nightstand?”

Dennis nodded and Mac leaned over to rifle through the drawer of the nightstand. He pulled out the bottle and knelt in front of Dennis, a wide smile on his face. Mac could feel his heart racing. This was really happening. “Lie back and spread your legs.”

Mac expected some form of protest for the demand, but Dennis complied looking him in the eye the entire time. It was like his skin was crawling with how intense Dennis was staring, but undeniably hot. Mac ran a hand along Dennis’s thigh eliciting a small twitch as Dennis tried to keep under control. Mac grinned and popped the cap of the bottle, slicking his fingers with the lube. Dennis leaned his hips up, giving Mac easier access. In turn, Mac rubbed a finger over Dennis’s hole. Dennis leaned into it with a small moan. “Come on, Mac.”

Mac obliged and slipped a finger inside Dennis. “Relax,” coaxed Mac as he pushed his finger in further, curling in. Dennis replied with a deep breath and a shudder. Mac languidly rubbed inside Dennis, loving the sound of his breathing getting shallower. “God damn, you’re so tight. Think you can handle taking it up the ass?”

A strangled noise escaped Dennis’s lips. “I can take it, Mac,” he replied, voice high pitched and ragged.

“Good, ‘cause you’re gonna,” Mac responded, emphasizing his point by adding a second finger. Dennis hissed in surprise, clenching around Mac’s fingers, but relaxed quickly as Mac made quick work of scissoring and stretching him out. Mac leaned down and kissed Dennis, who eagerly returned the gesture. “How’s it feeling?”

“It’s good,” Dennis answered, taking another deep breath to keep his voice steady. “Need more.” Mac was amazed how fast Dennis came undone just with a couple fingers. They closed the gap between each other again, deepening their kiss. Mac took the opportunity to add a third finger in, matching the rhythm of the kiss to the strokes of his fingers. Dennis groaned loudly in Mac’s mouth and bit his bottom lip hard. Mac flinched at the pain but felt his cock twitch at it. There had always been a little thrill whenever Dennis hurt him. Probably fucked up. Probably something he wasn’t going to analyze while he had Dennis writhing beneath him.

Dennis was now moving his hips, and after a few tries, he and Mac synched up, Mac’s fingers curling in every time Dennis slammed down on him. Mac’s other hand jerked himself, his cock so hard it was painful. Dennis moaned loudly. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” he demanded. Mac would almost say he was begging, but Dennis didn’t beg.

“Okay, okay. Calm down, bitch,” he breathed. “You’re so impatient.” He pulled his fingers out and Dennis groaned at the loss of pressure. 

“No, you just go too slow,” he argued.

Mac scoffed. “You’re one to talk,” he laughed. “I’ve seen your sex tapes. You take so much time to do anything.”

“It’s the seduction, Mac,” he said.

Mac raised an eyebrow. “And yet, you’re trying to speed your way through this?”

Leaning up on his elbows, Dennis smirked. “I don’t really need to seduce you, do I?”

“No,” Mac sighed. He looked down at Dennis, lightly pushing him back down. “Now are we going to sit here and argue, or are we going to bang?”

Dennis responded by spreading his legs again, lifting one to rest on Mac’s shoulder. “Get going,” he said.

Mac laughed again, and rubbed the lube over his cock, his heartbeat picking up speed as he fully realized that this was really happening. He almost lost himself right then and there, but he took a deep breath, trying not to think about it too much. He leaned down, aligning his cock to Dennis’s ass. Slowly, he pushed in, focusing on his own breathing. “Shit, Den.”

The sound coming out of Dennis was just as intoxicating. It wasn’t a particularly sexy sound, him sounding a little like he was choking, but Mac was the reason for it and that was incredibly hot. “How’s that feel?”

Through clenched teeth, Dennis answered, “It’s good. Keep going.” It didn’t sound like he was having a good time, but Mac wasn’t going to argue. He pushed further in, Dennis still sounding strangled, but not telling him to stop. Once he’d pushed in as far as he could go, Mac stayed that way for a moment, letting himself feel Dennis around him. He breathed heavily into Dennis’s neck, still not quite believing this was happening.

Dennis wriggled beneath him. “Move,” he insisted.

Mac didn’t have to be told twice and eased out a bit before falling into a steady rhythm. Dennis gasped and moaned, encouraging Mac to keep going. Mac’s head was swimming and he was doing everything he could to hold it together. It was difficult after wanting this for so long. He wanted to enjoy every bit of it, but it was a lot to handle. If he could just push Dennis to the brink, maybe he wouldn’t feel like he was ruining everything.

“You’re so perfect, Dennis,” he breathed in Dennis’s ear. “No one’s ever been as good as you.”

That seemed to do it as Dennis let out a long moan. “Yeah, baby, yeah I’m perfect.” Dennis panted heavily as he spoke. “I’m the best anyone’s ever had.”

Mac picked up his pace and continued his praises. “No one even compares to you. I’d choose you every time, no matter what.” The line was meant to apply just for banging, but Mac couldn’t help that it was definitely tinged something besides just choosing who to sleep with. He decided to just brush past it by keeping up his rhythm. “You’re so good, Dennis. You feel so good. It’s so amazing.”

“Mac,” came Dennis’s only response. His hands were all over Mac’s back and starting to scratch the skin. He’d probably be bleeding after this was over. Mac shivered and crashed their mouths together, needing to feel their tongues sliding against each other. Dennis lost all sense of artistry in his kisses in between moans and gasps. 

Mac sat up and in a swift motion, pulled one of Dennis’s ankles over his shoulder and thrust more forcefully into Dennis, eliciting a shout. “Fuck! Yes!” Dennis yelled and it was all the encouragement Mac needed to grab Dennis’s cock in his hand and jerk him to the same pace.

“I’m gonna—" Dennis choked out, giving little warning before he came, Mac following soon after before collapsing on top of Dennis.

They both breathed heavily. Mac laughed, feeling giddy and light. “Dennis, oh my god. Did that really happen?” The evidence pointed to the affirmative, but it didn’t seem real.

Dennis frowned. “Yeah it happened,” he spat. “You think you imagined that?” He pushed Mac off of him. “We need to get cleaned up. I don’t want to sit around with my jizz all over.” Standing up, he stretched and let out a noise of disgust. “Or yours just leaking out of my ass. Ugh, I’m taking a shower.”

No knowing how to react, Mac sat quietly on the bed watching Dennis move to the door. Dennis stopped and turned around. “Are you coming?” Dennis demanded.

“Wha--?” Mac started. “Oh! You want me to shower with you?” That seemed too intimate.

Dennis rolled his eyes but smiled at Mac. “We’re going to save so much money by taking all our showers together from now on.”

They settled into a steady routine, keeping things quiet between them for a few weeks until one day at the bar when Mac brought Dennis his lunch as usual. What wasn’t usual was Dennis responding, “Thanks, babe,” before leaning over and placing a kiss on Mac’s lips.

“I knew it!” screamed Dee, and the two broke apart staring at her, realization of what just happened. “I told those two that you guys started banging!” Dee looked completely gleeful at the confirmation of Mac and Dennis’s relationship.

Frank shifted on his barstool to turn to the two of them. “So how long has this been going on?”

Mac looked at Dennis, not sure what he should say. Dennis just rolled his eyes. “None of your business Frank.”

“It’s been at least ten years since it was official,” Charlie said. “I mean you guys have been pretty off and on, but this is old news.”

Dennis stared at Charlie. “Where the hell do you come up with this shit?” he said. “Mac and I have only been,” he paused, giving a vague hand gesture, “for a couple weeks.”

“What?” Charlie said, drawing the word out and ending in a high-pitched screech. “No, it’s definitely been longer. Or did you just not have sex until now and were just dating before?”

“We were never dating, Charlie,” Mac said. He looked back at Dennis.

Frank grunted. “You two always were pretty close. Are you sure you weren’t dating before?”

“Yes, Frank!” Dennis screeched. He took a bite of his sandwich in anger, before using it to gesture between Mac and the others. “Mac, tell them.”

Nodding, Mac turned to everyone. “Yeah. We just,” he stopped, not sure how to explain it. “It just sort of happened, but nothing ever happened before it happened when it happened.” Dennis nodded in agreement.

Dee nodded as well. “Yeah, those two were too repressed to be banging before this.” She looked pointedly at Frank and Charlie. “They mostly shared a homoerotic bond that neither of them realized before.”

“Oh,” said Charlie, comprehension dawning on his face. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“So how do you two not kill each other?” Frank asked. It was a fair question.

“Oh, well you see, Frank,” Dennis began, “we mitigate the stress of being around each other so much with sex.”

“Best way to solve a problem, hands down,” Mac added.

Dennis nodded. “I, myself, am feeling the least stressed I’ve ever been in my entire life.” He slapped a hand on Mac’s shoulder. “This guy just makes life better.”

Dee gagged. “Don’t be gross. Keep that lovey, goopy, romantic shit to yourselves.”

“You’re just jealous because you’re not in a relationship, because you’re too much of a miserable bitch for anyone to ever love you.” Mac gave Dee a disdainful look and Dee just responded by huffing and walking away.

“Well I’m happy for you guys,” Charlie said, clapping Mac on the back. “Don’t fuck it up, though.”

“You better treat Mac right,” Frank said.

“Hey,” Dennis protested. “I’m your son. You’re supposed to be telling people to be nice to me.”

Frank frowned. “I don’t give a shit if he’s nice to you, but I got a soft spot for Mac, and any guy banging him has got to get my approval.” It was weird, but Mac was a little touched by Frank’s protectiveness.

“And the both of you got to be careful not to get too reliant on each other,” Frank advised. “Because we all know you get all codependent and then when you aren’t around each other it gets real annoying.”

Dennis scoffed. “We’re not going to get codependent.”

“Yeah, Frank,” said Mac. “We have our own lives outside of each other. We just help each other out when we need it.” 

Mac was good at giving Dennis a helping hand whenever something came up. Even if there wasn’t an immediate solution, Dennis found he had a way to make even the worst situations better.

“Where is my debit card?” Dennis screamed as he tossed items around the apartment in his frantic search. Shelves were decimated, drawers upturned. His eyes were wide and wild as he looked at Mac.

Mac got the distinct impression that if he didn’t come up with a solution, Dennis would tear him apart to look for it. And not in a fun way. “Have you tried looking—" Mac began but was cut off by Dennis screeching again.

“I even looked in the toilet tank!” Dennis turned and rooted around in the cupboards, plastic cups clinking to the ground until Mac reached out a hand and placed it on Dennis’s shoulder to steady him.

Dennis looked over his shoulder at Mac, eyes still wide. Mac just smiled at him. “Don’t worry, dude. Use my card and then on Monday we’ll go to the bank and get you a new one.”

Dennis groaned. “So, I have to drag you along with me everywhere I go just so I can buy things?”

Mac rolled his eyes. “It’s only until you get a new card. We spend most of our time together anyway.”

Dennis considered this for a moment. “That is true. We spend way too much time together.”

“Hey, we’ve cut back a lot,” Mac countered.

With a shrug, Dennis slung an arm around Mac’s shoulders. “Fair enough. Let’s go buy some bedsheets, bitch.”

“Bedsheets?” Mac grimaced as he backed away from Dennis. “Those can’t wait until you get a new card?”

Dennis scowled. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been getting them dirtier.” He punctuated his point with a quirk of an eyebrow.

“I wash them, Dennis,” Mac argued. 

“Yeah but they get dirty fast,” Dennis argued back. “And I just think if we had more bedsheets you wouldn’t have to wash them so much.” Dennis’s words were getting louder and faster. “And maybe, just maybe,” he continued, his voice getting higher, “I want to go shopping with you and buy something nice for our bed that we now share together.” His eyes were wide again and Mac stared at the vein in his forehead. “Does that make you happy, asshole? That I want to go do something like that with you? That I want to do something nice for the both of us?”

Mac’s face softened. “Yeah, of course, dude. It makes me really happy.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, asshole,” Dennis said. Mac would always be there when he needed him. Of that, Dennis was completely sure.

At least until a few weeks later.

Mac was just… gone. He hadn’t announced his departure and hadn’t called or texted or anything. It had been three days and Dennis had been freaking out for two-and-a-half of them. He’d already passed out for lack of eating, the front tired had blown out on the Range Rover with no extra spare, and his goddamn debit card was missing again.

Dennis’s sour mood was felt by the rest of the gang, and they just weren’t having it. Dennis liked to think his rage was met with the proper fear and respect it deserved, but mostly the others were simply annoyed. Any time he tried to enact his vengeance upon them, the simply dismissed him. As if he didn’t matter at all. It was infuriating.

“Stop being a little bitch just because your boyfriend’s gone,” Frank said after Dennis had gone on a tirade about how sparse he was on groceries and couldn’t just go buy any since his card was gone and he didn’t want to have to the bank replace it again soon.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Dennis spat out. That wasn’t what that was. Sure, they’d been banging, and buying new bedsheets and dish sets together, but Mac wasn’t his boyfriend. That was a stupid label to put on them and what they had. It was different. And Dennis wouldn’t admit it to Frank or anyone else, but it was more significant than some juvenile term like boyfriend. But it also wasn’t such a big deal as to put a label on it at all. Frank was an idiot who didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Well whatever you two are,” Dee interjected, “you should get over it. Nobody likes a mopey bartender.”

With a scowl, Dennis whipped around to her. “Well nobody likes a nosey bitch either so shut up.”

Dee rolled her eyes. “Jesus Dennis. You need to borrow a tampon or something?”

“Shut up Dee!” he screamed in earnest. “Shut up Frank!” He turned to Charlie who walked up to the bar with a can of paint. “And I swear, Charlie, if you say anything at all you will face my wrath from which you may never recover.” Dennis stormed out of the bar, leaving the others standing quietly.

Charlie broke the silence. “Guy doesn’t get laid in a few days and goes off the deep end.”

“Didn’t know Mac was such a good lay it would make a man go crazy,” Frank said.

Charlie started nodding, looking like he was considering the information. “No, Frank, I can see it. Mac’s always had a certain energy to him. Even before he was gay, a lot of women just seemed to like sleeping with him.”

“Oh, that’s complete bullshit,” Dee countered. “Besides I don’t think it has anything to do with Mac being good in bed, which he’s definitely not. Those two are just weird as shit.”

“They are really weird,” Charlie agreed as he began painting Frank’s pants green. 

“No, Charlie!” Frank snapped. “It’s supposed to be forest green, not olive!” He knocked the paint over and stormed away, Charlie following after him yelling about how hard it is to clean up paint.

“Yeah, Mac and Dennis are the weird ones,” Dee mumbled to herself, rolling her eyes.

It was a full week since Mac had left before Dennis saw him again. The asshole in question walked in the apartment as if nothing had happened. Dennis stared blankly at the door as he heard it open, Mac shouting, “Heyo!”

Mac swiftly sat on the couch next to Dennis with a huge grin on his face. “I brought Chinese food,” he said as he placed containers on the coffee table.

“Where the hell have you been,” Dennis yelled as his brain finally caught up to the situation.

“To get Chinese food,” Mac said weakly, definitely knowing that wasn’t what Dennis meant.

Dennis frowned. “You were gone for a week.” He tried to sound angry, but his voice cracked, betraying some of the sadness underneath it.

Mac fidgeted with his hands, not quite looking Dennis in the eye. “I just had some stuff to think about. I couldn’t really be around you guys for that.” He looked up. “It wasn’t because of you,” he added quickly. “I missed you like crazy.”

Dennis kept his voice even this time, face steady. “And yet you didn’t even send a text,” he accused. “I called. I texted. What was I supposed to think?” He became more agitated again. “You could have been dead!”

“I wasn’t,” Mac reasoned. 

“How would I have known that?” Dennis crossed his arms and leaned away from Mac. 

Mac got huffy and also crossed his arms. “Well, you would have heard something if I had.”

Dennis threw his arms out. “I wouldn’t know if you had been murdered and chopped up into bits and thrown in the river!”

“Jesus Christ, Dennis.” Mac mumbled. He took a deep breath and reached out to Dennis. “I’m here, now.”

“No! No, no,” Dennis protested, wriggling out of Mac’s grip and standing up from the couch. “You can’t just fuck off and expect things to just be okay. They’re not okay!”

Mac stood up and put his hands on Dennis’s shoulders. “I just had a lot on my mind,” he tried to explain. “Things with my dad, and just,” he looked away. “Everything,” he added weakly. “I had to get away.” He looked back up at Dennis. “I’m sorry, man,” he said as he slid his hands to the back of Dennis’s neck, one hand threading through his hair. “I came back, because I realized none of that other stuff mattered, because I have you.”

It was too easy to get Dennis calmed back down and in his embrace again. “Don’t do it again,” Dennis mumbled. 

“Yeah, it was real stupid of me just to go off without saying anything.” His hands roamed over Dennis’s back and settling at his hips. They swayed together as Dennis grinded against Mac. 

“So,” he started, mouthing at Mac’s neck. “You missed me like crazy?”

“Oh, yeah,” Mac said. “You think I can be away from you for a whole week and not lose my mind?”

Dennis chuckled. “Of course, you went crazy without me.”

“So bad,” he said as he kissed Dennis. This was back on track with where he wanted to be. If the food got too cold, who cared.

“It’s been too long,” Dennis complained in the brief moment they broke apart.

Mac grinned against his mouth. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll make up for lost time.” He guided Dennis to the bedroom and Dennis was all too willing to follow.

He made quick work of getting his clothes off before reaching over to the nightstand and taking out the bottle of lube. He grinned at Dennis. “Come on,” he coaxed. “It’s been a whole week and I want you right now.” Mac emphasized his point by slicking the lube over his cock, already hard.

“You’re so needy,” Dennis teased, but was already stripping out of his own clothes. He crawled onto the bed on all fours, before hovering over Mac and kissing him deeply. “Want me to ride you?”

Mac let out a breathy, “Yeah,” before pulling Dennis more fully over him, positioning himself between his legs. “Fuck me good.”

Since it had been a week, and with little preparation, Dennis settling down on Mac’s cock took a bit of effort, but Mac shuddered, loving how tight Dennis felt. Dennis pulled up slowly, getting used to the feel of Mac again. As he came back down, Mac thrust up. “Shit,” Dennis hissed.

“You okay, Den?” Mac laughed, earning him a smack.

“Don’t be a bitch and just let me do this,” Dennis complained. “I’ll tell you when you can move.” 

Mac moaned. “Alright, Dennis.” He settled his hands onto Dennis’s hips. “Do whatever you want to me.”

“Yeah,” Dennis said as his slid his hands over Mac’s chest and settling them there to steady himself. He rocked back and found a steady rhythm. It was much too slow for Mac’s taste, but he didn’t dare take back over, loving the serene look on Dennis’s face. He knew being away would just make all of this better.

Soon enough Dennis rocked faster, slamming down on Mac’s cock. “I missed this so goddamn much,” he said softly.

“Me too,” Mac said, just as soft and with a kind of reverence. Mac couldn’t help it any longer. He fell into the rhythm Dennis had set, rocking his hips up to meet Dennis at every thrust. Dennis didn’t seem upset that Mac didn’t wait until being told he could move, in fact his moaning got louder. 

It was quick and rough and over much sooner than any other time together, but neither complained, grinning at each other. “Welcome back,” Dennis said.

“Good to be back,” Mac said as he nuzzled into Dennis.

Dennis put a hand on his chest, separating them. “Don’t get too comfy,” he said. “Shower first, then we can sleep.” Mac grinned, not really wanting to get up, but knowing Dennis would bitch if they didn’t clean up any. This had all been so perfect, a fact which he had no problems telling the rest of the gang.

“…And I don’t think Dennis is going to leave me, because he knows how much he needs me.”

Dee shook her head. “So, you were using that stupid system on him?”

Mac looked confused that she would even have to ask. “Well, yeah. That’s how you seduce people.”

“You used my system on me?” Dennis yelled, and Mac whipped around.

He grinned brightly. “How long have you been standing there?”

Dennis frowned. “Long enough to know you’ve been using my goddamn system on me this whole time!” Dennis had that frantic look on him, and Mac just frowned in confusion before comprehension shone on his face.

“Oh! No Dennis, don’t worry,” Mac assured him. “I was never going to do the separate entirely part. I’m going to stick around. I just needed you to be in love with me and then we could be together.”

“You idiot,” Dennis seethed. “That system is for manipulating women into becoming dependent on me, not for,” he waved his arms in Mac’s direction, “whatever it is you were saying about being in love.”

Mac kept frowning. Dennis really was mad about this. “But it worked, though.”

“I don’t need all of that to be in love with you, you goddamn son of a bitch!” Realization dawned on Dennis. “Is that why my debit card kept going missing?”

With a sheepish look, Mac nodded. Dennis opened his mouth to yell some more, but Mac held up his hands and started speaking first. “But I knew it wouldn’t be a big deal because of our joint account, so it’s not like you couldn’t just buy things anyway.”

“What about that week you were gone?” Dennis countered.

“I left my card sitting on your nightstand,” reasoned Mac, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“You two are both idiots,” Dee said. “And you really do deserve each other.”

Charlie giggled behind the bar. “I can’t believe Dennis fell for some stupid tricks he pulls on women.”

“I can,” said Frank. “He’s a very fragile man, and easy to manipulate.”

Mac sputtered. “It wasn’t about manipulating anyone. That’s just how you seduce people!”

Dennis sighed. “You’re so goddamn stupid, Mac.” He shook his head. “I would be mad, but I can appreciate the artistry involved in this.” He glanced over Mac. “I’m actually pretty impressed. I’m actually mad at myself for not picking up on it sooner.”

Mac grinned. “So, we’re good?”

“Oh, we’re not good,” Dennis replied, wiping the grin off Mac’s face. “There will be consequences. Mark my words, Mac. Consequences,” he repeated as he closed the gap between them, standing chest to chest.

“Oh yeah,” Mac said, grinning again.

“Not good consequences. Get that smile off of your face. This is a punishment,” Dennis explained.

Mac couldn’t help but keep grinning. “Okay, punish me. Yes.”

“Stop that! This isn’t a sexy punishment!”

“Could you two knock it off,” complained Frank. “I’m trying to concentrate on the news here.” He gestured to the TV. Nothing remotely newsworthy was actually happening, but some fluff piece about cats was on and Frank was rapt with attention.

“Oh hey, that one looks like it has a mustache!” Mac said.

Dennis laughed. “It does! It looks like a stupid old man.”

Mac pointed at another one. “That one looks like Frank!”

Dennis slung an arm around Mac’s shoulders. “That poor, dumb bastard.” He laughed again as he called out, “Hey everybody, come look at this cat that looks like Frank!”

“Oh, damn, poor thing,” said Charlie. “Oh shit! It really does!”

“That is an incredible likeness,” Dee agreed. “Frank, did you fuck a cat and then it gave birth to ugly cat-Frank hybrids?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Deandra,” Frank argued. “I only bang hot broads.”

“I don’t know that that’s true,” Dennis argued. “I’ve seen some of your lady lovers and I’ve got to say, I wouldn’t put it past you to bang a cat instead.”

“I don’t bang cats!” Frank shouted, and the whole conversation devolved into everyone screaming over each other making points about sex with cats and the genetic impossibility of humans even getting them pregnant. Other issues forgotten, well into the night. Mac and Dennis staying close to each other through it all.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr [here](https://movetothesuburbs.tumblr.com/)


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